Visiting Home for Ramadan

Am now at my mum's place; a place I used to call home and still is in a sort of nostalgic way.

She's tired, she looks so frail and thin, the house is rather filthy and she's still doing her best to cook for sahur tomorrow especially since I'm here. She wants to cook my favourite food but keeps adding more stuff on the menu; insisting that I pack it for tomorrow's break fast and if possible, for as long as it can last.

At times like these, I treasure her so much and  I don't know how I can live away from her. Moving out and staying on my own is one thing but moving to another country?

I don't think my brothers help out much at home... and it makes me sad. I want to wipe the grime off the stove and sink, scrub the toilet floor and take care of the neglected plants. It's not that my mother is a lazy or dirty person... but she's just tired from working all day and she can't work a second shift when she's home.

And then there's the food...

I noticed the dates she bought for break fast are the cheaper variety, the food in the pantry are cheaper brands and she even changed the detergent because we don't have $3000 a month from my dad anymore - not even a single cent.

While I said that I would not celebrate Ramadan the way I used to, I think on some days, I would still come home, have sahur and break fast together; help with the cooking and cleaning so as to bring back some semblance of normalcy.

Frenchy has been very supportive of this actually. He's asked me several times if I'd like him to get food for my sahur and stuff like that and he always encourages me to spend time with my family and sleepover whenever I want.

I admit it.... I do miss home. I guess we all do. Cest la vie.