The modern Hijab syndrome

A friend shared an article on Hijab do's and don'ts on Facebook today and I admit, that I too once tried my best to follow the "proper" way of wearing a Hijab and frowned upon the many "updated" ways this could be done. I used to wear a Hijab and now I don't but more of that in another entry perhaps. A few events in my life changed my opinion of this, so I've decided to deconstruct some extracts of the article a little just so that readers, as naive and believing as I was would not fall into a trap of following "rules" without thinking them through. 

From: http://www.igotitcovered.org/2011/09/06/tips-to-overcome-the-modern-hijab-syndrome-2/comment-page-1/

So, how is the hijab supposed to be worn? Allah clearly illustrates how a woman should wear it properly in the Qur’an,

“And say to the believing women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to expose their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcovers to cover their chests, and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or from the men who have no physical desire, or the small children who are not aware of the private aspects of women, and not to stomp their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments (jewelry). And turn to Allah in repentance together, Oh Believers, so that you may succeed.” [24:31]

Therefore, the front of our hijabs should come down low over our chests, not wrapped tight around our necks as is the current style. Imam Abu al-Fida ibn Kathir clarifies how and why:

“‘Extend their headcovers to cover their bosoms’ means that they should wear the headcover in such a way that they cover their chests so that they will be different from the women of the Jahiliyyah (time before Islam) who did not do that, but would pass in front of men with their chests uncovered and with their necks, forelocks, and earrings uncovered.”

Comment: I always had a contention on two accounts of this quote. Firstly, when believing women were asked to lower their gazes, this does not literally mean that their eyes have to be covered and yet it is taken literally that the scarf has to cover the chest. Could it also mean in a figurative term that the chest (heart) should be covered; that is your intentions need to be for the right reason? That you are covering your heart from the vices of the world and wishing to submit spiritually to God?

Second, it is said that women may display their beauty to men who have no physical desire. Now, how easy is this to determine? "Excuse me sir, do you have any physical desire? No, okay thanks". Trust me, growing up, I was not exactly the size and figure of choice for many guys to deem as "desirable". And, may I also say that if the men here have no physical desire (assuming towards women), then would that mean that men who have desires for other men are okay?

This explanation also denounces three other current styles that have been prominent these days:

1. Naked Neck. Exposing the neck by pinning the scarf to the back was the exact way women before Islam wore their scarves. Some would even wear heavy and glittering jewelry around their necks to emphasize the look. Islam came to wash away the unnecessary customs and prohibit the harmful actions of our forefathers, so why reintroduce what Islam has already ruled against? Islam has ordered that our necks are considered part of what the hijab must cover, so please bring the ends of your scarf to the front of your neck if you do prefer to pin your scarf in the back. Or you could simply pin your scarf to the front under your chin and let the ends fall loosely over your neck.

Comment: I get it, Muslims want to differentiate themselves from some nuns who wear their habits in this fashion. But I also feel a need to question what "unnecessary customs" and "harmful actions of our forefathers" are. If these refer to the act of exposing the neck, then I must say that men, you have to be ashamed of yourselves! Stop wanking in the train to that lovely muslimah's exposed neck! 

2. Slippery Bangs. A sister’s hair bangs might fall out from under the scarf to the front over the foreheads and sometimes eyes. It’s grown pretty common to have the bangs styled, cut, and highlighted just so that they have a pleasant appearance when they fall out of the scarf. We see the photos of models for clothing lines everywhere. If the model doesn’t have her hair tied back, then her bangs are falling over her eyes, giving her a seductive look. With that said, it’s easy to keep bangs from slipping by wearing headbands or hairclips, which can be found at the super market. Undercap-pieces specifically designed to be worn under a scarf can be used to keep the bangs from falling out as well.

Comment: Okay girls, you know what to do if you wanna seduce your boyfriends/husbands. Make sure your bangs cover your eyes for it will give you a seductive look.Okay, sarcasm aside, men, you have no idea what hijabis have to go through everyday. It's a constant check in the mirror/reflections to make sure not a single strand of hair is flying around because god forbids, some guy will start wanking if he sees that seductive strand. 

 This reminds me of the sister in Sister Act (the one in the extreme right). Her bangs are out but I do not see it any way seductive. I understand that the author is writing of the fashion trends in places like Iran but again, going back to the original Quran verses, I do feel that it is not so much of how a woman is wearing her scarf but why she's wearing it that matters. Why are men (see here that it is the authority of the Imam's words being used) ascribing so much restrictions on women to control our sexuality without much examining of their own? 

3. Protruding Ears. Sometimes, a sister will allow the ears and earrings to peek out from the sides. Earrings are flashy in general, and in this specific case, the earrings are usually huge and sparkly. There is no other reason for displaying earrings outside the scarf besides wanting to add a more attractive look to what is worn. Tuck them in, please.

Comment: As above. 

Now before we move on to other more socially imposed restrictions on the use of hijabs, I would just like to share a story of my mother and how I have accepted her change in her hijab styles over the years because her intentions had always remained the same. 

My mum used to be the type of woman who never used make up, wore long baggy clothes and did her hijab low and often making herself look so unattractive I'm sure she could just blend into the wall. She did it because it was part of keeping her beauty for her husband yada yada. But the truth is, men don't really like their wives to dress and look like a hag (sorry mum). He wants others to know that he is proud of his beautiful wife and even if she is not, he had at least provided her enough to make her look stunning (e.g. beautiful clothes).

So when my dad left my mum for someone else, she was shattered. She felt that her "beauty" which she had shielded from the public for the sole reason of pleasing her husband, was not enough. Then came the change.  She started to dress and style her hijab in a more modern way, used make up and jewellery all NOT for the intention of showing off her beauty to other men but to make herself happy and to tell herself that she is beautiful. She said that so often in pleasing our husbands, we forget to love and please ourselves. Loving that her lips are red from lipstick or that my scarf is beautifully done does not lessen her love or obedience to God. Kudos to that. 

I am now going to highlight a few more styles of today that our sisters should be aware of.

4. Piled High. This can be achieved by wearing a cushion above the head or ponytail and wrapping the scarf over it. Other styles include adding a large flower to the top or intricately twisting the scarf into a bun and pinning it to the side. Unfortunately, this creates a sign above the head saying “Check Me Out!” For your own good, don’t do it because the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam has also given us warnings for those who dress in this fashion in the following two ahadith:

Abu Hurairah relates that the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam said,

“There are two categories among the inhabitants of Hell whom I have not encountered. The first are people who carry whips like the tails of cows and beat the people with them. The second are women, clothed yet naked, drawn to licentiousness and enticing others to it, their heads like the swaying humps of camels. They will neither enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance, though its fragrance can be found to a great distance.” [Sahih Muslim]

The Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam also stated,

“There will be in the last of my Ummah, scantily dressed women, the hair on the top of their heads like a camel’s hump. Curse them, for verily they are cursed.” [At-Tabarani and Sahih Muslim]

So, from these ahadith, my sisters in Islam and I should be careful to stay away from this look in whatever way it can be created.

Comment: I don't know how the hadith's reference to the piled hair of scantily dressed women got transposed to becoming cushions, ponytails and "buns" that create the "check me out" look. I mean I've worn the Hijab before and how the hell do you expect me to not bun my hair under my scarf in this 35degrees heat when it's long? 

5. Falling Scarf. The scarf simply slips off to the shoulders whenever it gets too tired at the top and exposes luscious locks of hair. Wear a scarf with not-so-silky material that would have more friction and prevent it to come loose or slip. Pinning the scarf at the top or side is usually helpful too.

6. Body-Suit Tightness. This occurs when skinny jeans, tights, or body-shirts are worn. It also takes place whenever other clothes, such as dresses, are skin-tight, as if they’ve been painted on. This image completely contradicts the whole standard of modesty, which is the purpose of hijab. What the woman is doing is putting her figure on display. Even if a long blouse is worn on top of the body-shirt and skinny jeans to cover her chest and thighs, her arms and shins are still emphasized. Looser clothing should be worn instead.

Comment: Okay, there is a point here that I agree - that body hugging clothes are contradictory to the whole idea of Hijab but I think we can be flexible with the arms and shins yeah? See the thing here is, there is an assumption or a "truth" if you may call it, that men are sexually excited by every inch of exposed skin or even the shape of it. In this regard, then men should also be banned from walking around topless (which is allowed) or wearing tight fitting shirts over nice abs because that sexually excites me. Where's the protection for them then?  What if I rape them? 

7. Made-up face. Eyeshadow, colored lipstick, blush, and bronzer are all products of the make-up industry. However, we’re all already beautiful products of Allah’s creation, so why use tools of society to demean ourselves in the process of submitting to what society claims should be beautiful? And why try to enhance your beauty when you’re going to be amongst the same people you’re wearing hijab in front of in order to conceal your beauty in the first place? Besides, if people don’t appreciate the way Allah created you, then they don’t deserve your efforts to abide by their judgments.

Comment: I think it's a bit extreme to say that using make-up demeans ourselves. I think the author also forgets to see that while society has constructed what is deemed as "beautiful", society has also attached certain (negative) implications to it. I'm sure the Quran made no link between wearing lipstick and being slutty but why did we? In fact, why is there a double standards in the enhancement of beauty amongst men and women in Islam? Why are men allowed to grow their beards (which can sometimes look sexy yes?) and wear attar scents (which can be attractive smells) but women have A-Z restrictions? 

The reason this advice is being repeated is for the simple fact that as those who cover, we are not only representing ourselves, but the entire population of Muslim women who wear hijab. Firstly, we owe it to ourselves, and to our relationship with Allah, to seek ihsaan (perfection) in applying His rulings. If we’ve taken the first step in covering, then alhamdulillah; but let’s not stop there. Only by fulfilling the requirements of hijab can hijab then fulfill the purpose it was commanded for. Wearing hijab properly will protect us, make us conscious of our actions, and establish our respectability in society. And only through following Allah’s command as it was sent down can we hope to draw even closer in our love and obedience to Him.

Comment: Protect us from... what? And are you saying if I'm not wearing a Hijab I'm not conscious of my actions and worst, be an unrespected human being in society? -sigh- It is almost as if our identities, consciousness and intellect cannot be properly understood if we are not ascribed particular clothings that signify our gender. 

Now, from my own personal experience of wearing the Hijab, I can tell you that all the restrictions placed above has not made Muslimahs better but have created an atmosphere of judging amongst us. 

My first experience of this was when I went to the mosque -dressed in a long skirt and turtleneck long sleeved blouse to carry out one of the daily prayers. I had then not worn the hijab  yet at that time. I remembered entering the upper floors and having all these women look at me as if I was naked. They didn't say it but you could see their disapproval in their eyes and facial expressions.  

I think then, I started putting on the headscarf because I wanted to escape this judgemental looks. Then came the advise from various womenfolk that my sleeve was not long enough, I couldn't wear pants, my blouse needs to fall below my hips and so on. And I'm like... I'm not the one walking around in shorts and tank tops! Why are you picking on me when the other Malay girls out there could use some education in the ideals of muslimah dressings?

The irony of wearing the hijab (at least in Singapore) was that, while I was practically invisible to the male species, I became extremely visible to the roving eyes of other hijabi women. I didn't feel protected as I should and I became hyper-conscious of my actions to the point that I'm sure I was just putting up a show rather than being sincere about it.